


dreams

by switchee



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Don’t worry no one actually dies, Kicks more fics into keimugi tag, M/M, Suicide mention, ahhhhhh this is my first fic after awhile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 12:09:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13189785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/switchee/pseuds/switchee
Summary: In which these false visions of the future cause Keito to hold onto Tsumugi a little tighter at night, almost like he’s scared.





	dreams

**Author's Note:**

> My friend reio and I decided to water our own crops and put more keimugi fics into the tag  
> It’s like 12 am here and I’m writing this via iphone notes but hey man I’m desperate

It’s not unusual he’d get nightmares, it’s often times a sign that he’s setting too much work upon himself throughout the week, and that maybe he should slow down or stop for a bit. There’s hardly been any cases where he’s felt terrified because of them, not since he was a child, but nonetheless braces his logical self to whisper, ‘ it’s not real, it won’t be, ‘ and lay himself to sleep once more.

But to stop himself from feeling troubled about said nightmares is different. It’s always within the back of his mind, usually in the form of his loved ones disappearing suddenly- Or they leave him, making him feel helpless and desperate for a solution to keep them safe and entertained within his waking life. Keito hates himself for being so vulnerable inside, thinking he’d have an easier time functioning throughout the day had these negative thoughts not invade his mind.

Tonight is seemingly different, with a nightmare that appears synonymous to the rest but entices an entirely different reaction from Keito. It’s a funeral, at least it’s what he dreams— It’s a funeral of Tsumugi’s, with a photo of him sitting upon an altar and flowers placed beside it. His family and classmates with their crying set a heartbreaking atmosphere. Due to working funeral services, is become a habit to suppress any feelings as a sake of holding himself together. However, with how big of an impact Tsumugi’s made in his life, he cannot stop the overwhelming emotions that momentarily overthrow his logic, leaving himself depressed and on the verge of tears alike everyone else. The more he stares at the altar- Tsumugi’s casket- The more he overthinks about anything that led up to his death.

Was it accidental? Was he murdered? Did he put up a fight to try and keep himself alive?

‘ Or did he kill himself? ‘ It takes awhile for him to process that thought, and hits Keito like a truck. His chest constricts, and he begins to feel helpless about it, closing his eyes and wishing that conclusion away. Not, it seemed more possible from the rest- Tsumugi, the unstable boy who was going through things in his life with hardly a grasp to rely on anyone, the shy librarian who believed a little too much in divination and luck, who’d make himself foolish, who had potential in his life had he held on a little bit longer to tear away from those that make his life miserable. Tsumugi, the person who Keito cared for since the beginning and fell in love with—

It’s unfair, what were his last thoughts before he took his life? Did he say goodbye? Did he apologize for doing that? Did he think about how much dust the books would collect without his aid? Or maybe he thought about how tired he was, or how alone he felt. Was Keito’s aid not doing enough? Was he making Tsumugi worse? No, this shouldn’t be any of his fault, because Tsumugi wouldn’t blame anyone, but at the same time—

It’s hard to convince himself this was just a dream, with how realistic the situation can be - It’s hard to convince himself, ‘ he wouldn’t do that. ‘ But when he’s brought back to waking life, intense relief yet also panic to look for Tsumugi, it’s relief that wins when he sees his lover hovering over him with a worried expression.

“ You kept moving around, and calling out my name.. Did you have a nightmare? “ His voice is gentle, and also sleepy. It’s probably because of all the ruckus he made that woke him up. Keito’s silent for a few minutes, trying to compose himself and steady his breathing. Tsumugi takes this as an opportunity to get up and fetch him a glass of water, the light that appears in his room furthers Keito’s feeling of safety and comfort. When he comes back, Tsumugi sits on the edge of the bed with him, observing quietly as he drinks his water and place it on the desk.

“ Do you.. want to talk about it? “ He inquired innocently, hazel eyes gaze at him with worry and curiosity mixed.

He scratches the back of his head, idly twirling the short strands of hair. As much as he hated it, Keito vividly remembers everything that had happened, yet he didn’t want to blunt about the details. No, he’d rather forget this in general. But with Tsumugi concerned, and his warm touch on his arm to console him, he realizes he should rely on someone too.

“ ... I had a dream in which you died. From how it felt, I think you committed suicide. “

“ Oh. “ Not really the reaction Keito expected, and now it worried him more when Tsumugi turned silent, awkward even.

“ I’m sorry, with how unstable I can be I must.. be a handful to deal with for you. “ His expression turns apologetic and full of guilt, he can’t look at Keito in the eye and fiddles with his fingers.

“ No, I understand. And realize I took it upon myself to help you, even when you’re at your worst. “ He’s still quiet, so Keito reaches over and pulls him for an embrace. “ ... I know it might be a lot to ask for, but I want you to promise me you won’t do that kind of thing- Dying early. Ao- .. Tsumugi, I want you to live a happy life, you have so much potential to reach it, so please, if you can.. “ One minute, two minutes.. Three minutes pass, and Keito realized maybe it’s too early to ask that sort of thing, or maybe it’s hopeless to ask for it. But as Tsumugi speaks up, there’s a warmth in his chest that blooms and he knows the both of them can sleep easier tonight.

“ I.. I promise. “

 

**Author's Note:**

> admittedly I’m a bit self conscious on my writing so really any helpful advice on character portrayals or just on my style in general is a thumbs up, just please don’t be rude abt it you feel me


End file.
